Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Jungle Book part 1

Jungle:Pulau Tekong

If by now, any of you have the misconception that the jungle is a nice place filled with flora..you have been fooled......

No doubt, all those army advertisements show courageous soldiers prowling effortlessly in the dense vegetation must have contributed to the myth that the jungle is a nice place.
P.S They're probably scratching their mosquito bite filled backsides when the camera is not on them.

Add to the fact shows such as LOST, where everyone seems so nice and clean in the jungle. Ever wondered why none of them ever got any insect bites ? Or that they always seem so nice and clean-shaven....funny how the chicks in the show never sprout any armpit hair....considering that they're angmohs, a.k.a 'hairy people'. Jack's hairstyle is always the same each episode....and if left to nature, Sayed would probably resemble a monkey.

The truth: There are tons of creepy crawlies in the jungle. There is also lotsa mud and grime....in fact, most of the jungle is mud. About a million mosquitos. Now, why is only now that your's truly is complaining about the jungle ? Surely, he, who has been in the army for such a long time would have known this from the start......Well, yesterday, your's truly went back to the dreaded island of Tekong once again for a river crossing exercise. In my opinion, a bloody waste of time. That said, its been quite some time now since yours truly had to actually camp outfield, hence, as they say, outta sight, outta mind. Definitely brought back a plethora of bad memories. Just the other day, yours truly was wondering if he made the right choice in taking the road less travelled by becoming a PTI instead of going to OCS. Well, your's truly had forgotten why the hell he had rejected in the first place going to OCS while in SISPEC and scheduled for a cross-over........he HATED the JUNGLE. Yesterday truly reminded him of the CORE reason why he didn't want to cross over and instead fought so hard to get himself admitted into the PTI course....albeit rather underhandedly.....

Ever wondered why in the commercials all the river crossings are done at night ? The army would like you to think that its because of tactical reasons....yours truly however feels that this is so because the water in rivers are usually brown. Like milo......if you're lucky, the water is moving....if not, there's a layer of oil on top of the water and dead insects are floating all over. And hence, here is where you see the truth.

Case Study 1: Always shake your shoes/boots in the morning before you put them on. That is the rule number one, assuming one actually takes off his footwear while sleeping out in the wild...your's fully puts on everything...always better to have one more layer of defense. LTA Eric Neo(Guards) obviously doesnt think so....Probably complacency setting in there....Afterall, Guards are known to repel down helicopters and like to see themselves as being one of the elite fighting forces that the SAF has. Being the man of steel that he is, Eric didnt bother shaking the boots....afterall, even creepy crawlies know better than to crawl inside the boot of a guardsman ! Obviously, one big red centipede did not bother about this and duely made the boot his abode for the night. The rest they say is history, man puts feet into boot, man gets bitten by centipede, man goes to hospital, man gets 5 days mc. LOL, on hindsight, one must point out to the fact that the centipede was RED....the colour of Commandos, hated rivals of the Guards. Anyway, the centipede was burned to death by LTA Eugene(ARMOUR) , figures.....armour includes all the tanks and artillery...lotsa bombing....and so, the centipede was burned to death, one actually gets on a sadistic high while watching the centipede squirm and twitch in pain as it is slowly burned to ashes. Heh, that oughta teach those pesky creatures not to bother humans anymore.

And so, 30 over mosquito bites later, yours truly is reminded that the jungle is not a nice place. This is the Poameister, signing off !