Friday, September 23, 2005

The Green Eyed Monster

Beware the green-eyed monster,
its presence seemingly evanescent.
But neither be fooled nor taken in,
for it is deceptive, patient and omni-present.

Beware, for its bids its time.
Waiting for an opportune moment.
Steathlily it will strike.
Slinking around in the corners.
Patiently chipping away.

Beware, for soon there will be no escape.
It eats away in your innards.
Chipping away at your resolve.
Overwhelming, Overpowering.
Blinding you, as it takes control.

I beseech you dear reader,
do not take lightly my words of caution.
The Green-Eyed Monster most definitely exists.
Take heed, take heed.

Another wonderful piece of work from the Poameister.




Sunday, September 04, 2005

Julienne's Pao and Maggie Mee

Your's truly had a chance encounter recently with the charming and petite Julienne, on his way back to his royal abode. To mark this rare occasion, seeing that we both live on opposite ends the islands, she decided to tell me her favourite joke/icebreaker. Really interesting lady...that one.....lol.

Julienne(while eating a pao): I love paos! Btw, Have you heard about the joke about pao and mee ?
Poameister: No.....whats it abt ? Tell me ?
Julienne: Are you sure ? *giggles.*
Poameister: Just tell me la woman !
Julienne: Once, there was a big fat white round pao, one day, mee was fed up with nice fair pao and went up to it and punched him. Angry, pao gave chase ! But, owing to obesity, pao was soon lost far behind......hee hee....can you imagine a pao running ???
Poameister: u mean bounce ? yes, plenty of bouncy fatties in the army. hyuk hyuk !
Julienne: HAHA.....anyway, pao was very flustered and angry. He swore to take revenge on that yellow and cowardly mee. The next day, pao spotted maggie mee from afar. Sneakily, pao crept up slowly from behind....hahahahaha, can you imagine a pao trying to sneak up from behind ??? hahahaha.
Poameister: I can only imagine......quick finish it....
Julienne: Yes yes. And then, pao, when within striking distance, whack's maggie mee on the head and said " Just because you permed your hair doesn't mean I don't recognise you !"

****disclaimer. Julienne's words have been slightly altered here, but even she agrees that the essence of it is the same. =)


*At this moment, both of us burst out in laughter. Julienne amused by her own joke...and me amused by her. Such an interesting girl, Julienne is....haha.....plays the bass guiter too. Rocker chick this one. Now just why such eligible girls remain without quality boyfriends just confounds me......once again proving my theory that most of the guys in our country are sadly inferior in terms of charm, looks and an overall enthusiam for life(guys here are obsessed with dota...whatever that is....yours truly does not keep in much contact with the regular plebians and proletariats...). Some guys just....don't....geddit..... =)

Once again, my fans, its is time for yours truly to turn in for the night/morning......so once again, gd morning everyone! And in case I don't see you, gd afternoon, gd evening and gd nite ! This is the Poameister, signing off.



Friday, September 02, 2005

Tales of Amelia and Shuhui (part 2): Mr Below Average

Just earlier this week during BO's farewell dinner, Amelia got a call from Mr Below Average, asking her out on a date.......

Here's a description of Mr Below Average

Poameister: Is he good looking ? Rich ?

** Julienne almost pukes whatever she is eating. Shakes head furiously.

Amelia, when confronted said. "Average looking I guess, just average all round.....but now that he likes me....I think he's below average....his dress sense is CMI, the jeans are way too short, meaning I can see his socks. WHY NICK ? WHY DON"T DECENT GUYS LIKE ME !" When yours truly replies that one shouldn't lower one's standards, she replies " hmm.....I guess you are right, but still ! I don't want to be left on the shelf....sometimes thats very scary. Its like all your friends are getting married and you're all alone....." Deep thinker Amelia is, thinking of such profound things which are light years ahead. Truly ahead of her generation.

Poor girl's traumatised by this entire episode.....Mr Below Average asked her out for lunch today and tried to give her a massage.....really grossed her out. Even grossed me out...haha

If this keeps up, your's truly may have to offer himself as a make-believe boyfriend. Just to keep these pesky flies away from the flowers. Only sweet honey bees please......everything just get lost ! The Venus Poatrap is here to get rid of all unwanted pesky desperate creatures. Your's truly seriously enjoys the suffering inferior people go through when they're rejected by people above their class level. Esp NTU guys.....Seriously don't like them.....I don't know why. Am just a prejudiced lil prick. No wonder no one wants me.......(figure of speech here. Not true at all)

Honestly, the number of girls who are eligible in S'pore far outweigh that of the guys. No wonder the girls are complaining......maybe this explains why the sex rate in Singapore between couples is going down all these years......despite studies showing that women in general are now pushing and demanding for more sex. Interesting....shall not elaborate any further on this.....you can refer to my previous articles for this topic.

Hence, concludes yet another episode of Tales of Amelia and Shuhui. Until then. Toodles. =)



Thursday, September 01, 2005

Jessica Alba

Sharon told me this week that 2 energy-crazed kids at Taka told her she looked like Jessica Alba. hahahaha. Must be some kids with valium or prosiac. Tsk tsk, the ease at which drugs are steadily available nowsadays.

Other news, CSM is back with a vengence........being seriously anal this few days.....really irritating the crap out of yours truly.....also, have been rather busy these few days.....am being piled with loads of work, no thanks to the fact that your's truly has been put in charge of all administrative work. Fuckin hell.

Met BO on tuesday, lucky girl's going back to UK to study. Spent 6 wks in Fiji diving.....all in the name of education......lol. Hopefully I'll be going there next year. Have to ask Ngoei for another testimonial...hmm.

Quote for you ' Iron is good for you !' Get the dual meaning ?? heh