Saturday, November 11, 2006

Empire where the sun never sets

A big hello to all you fans out there. In fact, make that a big SHOUT OUT to you all, all the way from the centre of the empire where the sun never sets....pfft, how the mighty have fallen, not that they would in anyway admit it, just like how them rafflesian girls burn their bras in secret(insider joke). Raffles by the way for those who are un-initiated is the name of the top school in Singapore in terms of mass producing an army of A-class students. 'What ?!! Only 3As for your A-levels ?! Pathetic..' The school if they could would probably shoot these infidels.

His most exalted highness is indeed having quite a M.I.N.T of a time 'oop north' in the cold and gloomy city of durham. Anyway, here are some interesting snippets of what your's truly has been up to.

Snippet 1:Tales of the Ladyboy Man-Eater

As part of the worst nightmare halloween party, your's truly decided to transcend boundaries into unchartered territory. Imagine, having to awake in the morning beside a ladyboy beside you, or worse, awaking to something long thick and damp(**in the interest of accuracy, for your's truly is trying to get in tune for the role ) being slapped across your face.

To put it succinctly, your's truly was HOT, FIT and well, words couldn't be used to describe the beauty that was on offer. In fact, it probably could rival some of the finest Thailand has to offer. FACT, some sleazebag, actually tried to touch up your's truly from behind. Not a nice feeling, but one that your's truly is accustomed to, except that this was coming from a guy instead of the hordes of females that are after your's truly's nice little pert ass.

Snippet 2: Tradition

Well, exactly what can be expected of the posh sophisticated and nose slightly tilted upwards Brits, but traditons upon traditions. Not that your's truly minds of course. Being able to put on a suit and looking suave is all part of what being your's truly entails. Formals, Balls and whatever swanky events you can think up of, they have it all. Freed from the shackles of sloppy dressing and the notion of dressing down, your's truly is thriving in this new environment.

Snippet 3: Helping the less fortunate

As all of my loyal subjects, you should know that your's truly is a man of compassion and integrity. Always helping the less fortunate and being such an example to mankind is something which comes as second nature. Your's truly had to go through a really tough interview in order to be able to volunteer his most amazing services. Think of it, here the people actually have to queue up to do volunteer work....in Singapore, we try ways and means of paying off other people to do it for us. Or we have attitudes such as if you're not good enough, 'life will kick you between the legs,' amazing quote by Wee Shu Min(elitist bra-burning extraordinaire). To cut things short, your's truly aced the interview and according to one of the panel, almost had them in tears. Thank you 1t1 and 1n1 scums, your's truly would never have envisaged that teaching you would actually benefit your's truly in such tangible ways.

This is the Poameister, signing off.