Thursday, May 26, 2005

Retrospective: God

He might not be there times when I want him to, but he's always there when I need him.
Always taking, seldom giving.......

Yes, that sums up my spiritual life. Have always been in a christian school(a work of God I think), though not always a christian......Many people till now do not even believe me when I tell them I am a christian, yah, must admit that yours truly isn't what one may call a martyr, well I try.......actually......NOT. heh. Even better is the flabbergasted looks they shoot me and their words and actions of disbelief when they find out that I'm a sunday school teacher. =)

The first real incident of God being in my life was when my favourite grandma(maternal side) got into a coma. Doctors gave her almost no chance of recovery......I remember I went into the hospital into the ICU unit one day alone and just sat there.......I prayed that if she would just wake up, I would start going to church.....wake up she did a few days later and thus I tried keeping my part of the bargain by going to church to try to know Him more....not v successful, soon I stopped going to church, always giving myself excuses to skip it.....you know, the typical backslidey kinda person.

Everything in my life was kinda smooth-sailing until I entered the army and got posted to the God-forsaken Sispec(School of Infantry Specialists). The days there were just terrible, faced with inferior instuctors and the horrid notions that for once, I wasn't good enough for the so called upper echelons(OCS). Yes, the instructors there(Foxtrot) are terribly lousy at whatever they do, be it planning to actually teaching anything. Being punished and blamed for everything, including faults of the instuctors.....I really asked God why the hell was I there. In fact I was on the brink of giving up and getting myself downgraded if I wasn't getting a favourable posting(either going to OCS or being a PTI) after the initial stages of training. Luckily, God was there when I needed him and I was posted to become a PTI. Imagine the joy I felt to be leaving the cesspool! It was here that I finally realised that the relationship I had with God all along was one-sided. Finally, ended up at where I am now at OCS where I am a PTI. Really nice and comfy life even if I do say so myself. It was here that I decided to give back some of what I had taken and u know, spread the love. So that's how I'm a Sunday School teacher. Still am going for a mission trip ! ;P



Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Amazing Race

Took part in a church event today. Had to bring my kids to Changi Airport for a Race/Treasure HUnt. Despite my scheming ways and blatent cheating(hope none of my kids or their parents see this or I'll be impeached faster than you can say cigar...lol), we lost.......dammit......must be God trying to tell me that the dark side doesn't always win.....like how Arse-Anal beat the valiant Devils in the FA Cup Final on penalties.....those no good scums....but why is the better half of manchester nicknamed tt of the devils....shouldn't it be angel.....the "red angels"...hmmm, sounds wussy.

But retrospectively speaking, its probably for the better that Team Poa which goes by the alias Galilee 3 didnt win today. Mustn't expose the poor kids to all the harsh realities of this world.....must let them think that good will triumph over evil.....like how we were ousted by this team that played honestly(maybe its because the dumb klutz of teacher didnt realise that there was an additional teachers clue pack that came with the envelopes that were passed to us at the start.) No matter, am not a sore loser.......fucky, i lost....bargghhh! Am going to escape theme park with the kids next week for cohesion day. Am the ultimate coolest teacher in sunday school I tell u. I really like being with these kids, whom whilst on the brink of adolescence and the angst and darkness that comes with it, they maintain this child-like innocence which is a real inspiration for ol' me. Sometimes I wonder if it is really me who is the teacher....well, proven today that the bad guys don't always win aint it? Maybe doing things the right way will somehow or someway work out with the grace of God.

Went for a church bbq yesterday, xinyi brought a pretty friend along, from canada. A real breath of fresh air from the mundane s'pore girls......oops....mustn't be so superficial....must be nice. What I really meant was urm.....nice down to earth s'pore girls? yah, that sounds nice.....what a pity she's leaving for Canada soon. = ( Hope Xinyi tells her good things abt me.....otherwise she can stop being my sister's music teacher. I know u're reading this oxy. =)

Am going to watch Revenge of the Sith next week. Am reading the book now so I can spot all the subtle nuances in the show like when Anakin falls to the Dark Side. A real embodiment of a flawed hero Anakin is.....fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate , hate leads to suffering.(all in a yodalish tone) OOOmmm.....am being philosophical here.(*pause for a moment of silence)

Recieved feedback that my entries are getting a tad lengthy, will try to keep it short from now onwards, mustn't spent all my genius so soon, might get writer's block like JK Rowling and produce a long if sub-standard book like in order of the phoneix. Gd nite folks and in case I don't see ya, gd morning, gd afternoon and gd evening as well. POA signing off.



Friday, May 20, 2005

The Past

Most of you peeps don't know me as a kid.....but I was taller and bigger than everyone!!!! Argh.....why am I so puny now.....doesn't help that in my profession now the people come in two sizes, huge and huge with definition. Even amongst my immediate colleagues lie the world's longest bicep(Yaps), thunder thighs(amos), model(ali F), Akuma(botaks) and a rugger(nick lim). So unfair....am going to work hard now that I'm consigned to gym cos of my shin splint and inability to run.

Am amazed by my ability to write articles that mirror that of the newspaper(my articles are natural crowd pullers...lol). Look at yesterday's entry and compare it to the article in todays newpaper abt ugly guys in uni. Although I'm a guy, I actually fully agree that many wussies are in the uni.....well, all the gd ones prefer to go abroad if they can make it financially. This kinda goes back into my beliefs in eugenics, namely, rich men and capable men rather marry pretty wives right ? Darwinism acting here I should say, as its kinda like a survival of the fittest where the alpha male/female picks the best mate for itself. And when this happens, even if the guy/lady is ugly, the fact that the mate is pretty would mean that the kid has a 50% chance of looking fairly decent(according to the law of averages). Just look at the european aristocrats now, many of them are fairly good looking. Just face it people, genes are everything when it comes to natural good looks........y are my parents so short !!!!!!!!!! Argh. haha.

Back to the topic. In days of yore, yours truly was a great terror even in kindergarten where me and Raoul terrorised all the other kids with our sheer size. ahaha. Raoul for your info didnt stop growing like me and is strappling now at like 180+. Thats abt all I remember abt kindergarten....wasnt't too bright then......

Primary Sch was a blast ! Thoroughly enjoyed all of it. Remember I beat up a guy on the 1st day cos he made fun of my shirt. Dumb ass. haha. But am glad to let all you ppl out there that I am strictly a pacifist(person who does not believe in violence) rite now. haha. Lotsa soccer and fights back then. Remember in pri 3 I was like 2nd in command of a mini school gang that would go ard with wooden long rulers(80 cents) as our mode of weapon and beat other gangs up. When long rulers were banned due to their primary objective,(secondary objective was to draw lines obviously) we upgraded to the long metal pointers($1.20) that we could detract and keep in our pockets. It must have been by seeing our skirmishes that George Lucas came up with his epic fighting scenes. =) All those knocks must have taken its toll as I scored a measly 219 for my PSLE(hands up people who lost to me......damn.....no one ?), which resulted in a somewhat painful 4 years in Sec Sch.

Hai Sing Catholic(my dad still pronouces it as hai shing, despite numerous corrections, proof of his subconcious disappointment that his son ain't a chip of the old block, he's a bloody Rafflesian, part of the reason I went to AC so that I wld have common RI haters. heh), a real eye opener. For once, life wasn't the nice bed of flowers that I was supposed to have fallen on, everything was different, the way people talked and their outlooks on life. The 1st 6 months were horrible in many ways I cannot describe....maybe that's why I flunked my mid-years, the last time I ever did badly in an exam at that school. But I can't deny that it was fun in a way, in fact, my sec 2 year still rates as among my fave years. haha. Totally corrupt as a class moniter and thoroughly enjoyable for everyone who benefitted too through all the cheating during class tests and the facade of us being thought of as obedient....haha, those lookouts i posted were really effective! But still, it was difficult for yours truly to really fit in with crowd, I always felt that I was somehow there, and yet excluded at the same time as if there was an invisible boundary between me and the rest.....was terribly ugly then with my centre parting(trying to fit in..) and super thin frame.....my mother thought I looked like a horse....I think so too(even now, when I feel sad, I juz look at those ol' sec 1 photos and I start laffing at myself...am sick la).....ah well, at least I like to think I am an ugly duckling and the true metamorphisis was seen at the prom in sec 4 where the great one was crowned prom king...lol....yay, am nt ugly anymore! Oh ya, and class valedictorian too.....still trying to retrieve the video of my graduation so I can hear my speech over and over again. Am a narcissist now la, what to do, spent 4 years thinking I was hideous, no thanks to all those 'nice' comments made by others around me, really low on self-confidence during that point of life....... Sucky, ugly and stupid.....who wouldn't be ? *pause for laughter by reader*

Anyway, in a nutshell, that is my past, could go on and on, and maybe I will....another time when I have nothing else to write abt. Always a good topic. Stay tuned folks, soon to come topics will include, Amelia(just to whet your appetite), the Poamister's top 10 ranking of fave and hated people and many more!!!!



Thursday, May 19, 2005

Minimum Requirement.....

Its hard being nice........the guys in camp are having a riot now that I'm on a new found path to niceness....must control myself................argggh..

Have decided that this blog will be dedicated to the people around me. People are so interesting, especially those around me. Am going to try as best as possible to showcase the great people who've been in my life. Stay tuned to this blog, its going to be EXPLOSIVE !

At least I'm able to go for my driving lessons next wk cos the training dates have been changed. yay. Went so early to camp today for this extremely redundant instructor's day on safety. Any safer and we'd be just twiddling our thumbs throughout our entire army life. Needless to say, it was terribly boring.

Am thinking of whether to go for the mission trip(yay, am on the path to niceness and all things good!). Still owe God one mission trip.....must try to go for one......my resolve will not be broken. Am thinking of like being a social escort to raise money for myself for this trip........the nice kind of social escort....not the hanky panky ones....in the spirit of being nice. Worse come to worse if I can't manage to sqeeze out time for this, will just help jocelyn by giving her the proceeds from my social escort wages. Always wanted to be one.......escort scouts out there......don't wait! HIRE ME! I need the cash too.. though I dun really need it..always better to have more money then less money. =) Still remember when I was training to be a PTI, I had all these great ideas of like setting up a social escort agency......am a budding extrepreneur! Maybe this will be a start to bigger and better things.

Back to the topic finally! MiN. Requirement! I sort of eavesdropped on a friend's conversation that day and found out that I was like a min requirement for a bf for most ppl.......sounds gd at first....but now that I think of it....its bloody insulting. TMD! Am not minimum....am MAXIMUM......I think that with the paucity of quality guys around......setting me as the minimum is definitely way too high. No wonder less and less women are getting married and all....later too....perhaps after waiting so long for someone good enough....they can't find one and so they just grab like the closest and bestest one they can find.(not v gd by the way.....maybe thats y singaporeans have like one of the lowest sex rate in the world....nt to mention the low birth rates.....who wants ugly kids????) Well, I'm going to wait for the truly 'right' one, can't imagine myself being with someone just for the sake of not being left on the shelf.....yes, all you folks can laugh now, I'm a terrible romantic and all sweet inside. What's my minimum requirement? Some of you maybe lovestruck fans might ask? Actually I don't really know myself, I'll just know when it comes, that I'm sure.....its just that there hasn't been like anyone for a long long time.....maybe I just can't let go of the past. Maybe that's why my standards are like nearly impossible to meet now....protective mechanism? After all, based on my current standards....she wouldn't even make it pass the initial appraisal...I guess I think I'm like so over this, but I just can't explain like why I can't really feel for anyone anymore.....ah well, I'll find someone perfect to my standards one day and this time I'm actually going to put someone other than the Poamister as 1st place and I'm going to cherish it unlike the last time. Love is neither practical nor pragmatic nor even pretty, instead, it transcends beyond anything words can describe.

This is the Poamister, signing of! damn, always wanted to say that. =)



Wednesday, May 18, 2005

For my Fans !

Amos said today he's gonna like ask all his lil friends to come by my blog. Now have to make it more appealing to everyone. More mainstream like and definitely more entertaining. Maybe I'll get more popular. haha.

Realised today that I wouldn't be able to take my driving lessons next week cos of some dumb PT course aimed at helping us with the new WOCC(Women Officer Cadet)..........cunts.......women shouldn't join the army. Yah, being rather sexist here....but its true......oweing to the paucity of the fairer sex in the army, and coupled with like many despos......these women often get their way.....if not they would just like throw tantrums and cause a whole lot of trouble. Nonetheless, some of them actually are better then the men....sad to say but so true. Like now, there like 2 WOCCs that can like whip 70% of their male counterparts in the 2.4 km run........these guys had better take a good long look at themselves........pathetic is the state I would define the fitness levels of the majority of our soldiers....the so-called defenders of our beautiful and wonderful and vibrant country, this is also applicable to me..sad to say, that the high standards set by our fore fathers have depreciated to such a low level. In fact, today I was just demonstrated to how wimpy our wonderful army has become. NS men, aka reservist with huge bellys and receding hair lines had at least the balls to perform a 5m confidence jump into the pool(no big deal I know)....it wasnt a pretty sight but at least they did it with the minimum fuss. Contrasted to our so called cream of the army, THE OFFICER CADETs, some of whom have such a phobia, that they don't even dare go near the ledge of the pool. I'd better get a sum of money ready so that if a war breaks out I'd have the means to relocating my family to like china or something where we can like grow a farm and survive on subsistence farming. lol

Still can't get any damn photos of myself to upload on the blog....I think I'll just keep this as a photo-less one. Safer you know, with all these poor people nowsadays being persecuted for their own thoughts. Nonetheless, I would still like to put a disclaimer here that any resemblance to anyone or anything in this blog is purely coincidental and if you are offended in anyway, please just go elsewhere. BTW, for those who read yesterday's entry, I am trying to be nicer to people in general....nt v pretty....oops there I go again. At least I was nice to Amos today. There! Oh, and there's a new colleague in office today, must try to be nice to him.....aint nothing much to look at.....actually.....please dont look.....but its all in the spirit of being nice to everyone...something I've been struggling to do all day. But I'll at least try to add a tagboard so that I'll be interacting with all my fellow......people, friends, fans....whatever.....



Tuesday, May 17, 2005

my 1stest ever post !

This is not meant to be seen by people I don't like so if I don't like you please get lost. =) . Pretty people are always welcome though. I like pretty.......so superficial am I. Today is another boring day in camp.......where the usual programme is as follows........8-9 reach camp, 9.30 breakfast.....1030....internet at the library....12 back to sleep in bunk......1430 hit the gym......1700 'homegoing'(a new word me and amos came up with...how original!). And now I'm here trying to create a blog....probably wouldn't last long considering my super short attention span......in fact juz tried to create a blog on xanga.com but cos it was too freaggin slow tts y I'm here. Sucky xanga! =)

Star Wars is finally coming out.....how I wish I had a lightsaber(the one in the movies....not the ultra big and long one tt I have now. ) to go slice all the people I don't like.......so many.. at last count, I was racist, elitist, uglist(don't like ugly people)....am such a sad critical bitch.......arghh....can't wait to geddout of this god damned army. Such a waste of time......at least I've got a nice and relaxing job with decent looking people(even Chief looks pretty interesting if you don't look at him in the context of a human. heh). At last count, the team had like the world's longest bicep, AKUMA, a model, an anus, a rugger(a bit thick) and a sunbear, just to name a few. Ah.....got some lessons coming up this wk, am gonna start abusing my power and start killing me some cadets,I keep saying that but never actually do it......must have some determination!!!!

Had an interesting conversation with amos today......abt how superficial I am and how I am going to change to be a better person. Amen. Will try to be nice to him tomorrow. haha. Thats it for today, I hope no one drowns tomorrow for my confidence jump tomorrow.