Monday, April 16, 2007

Guess who's back ???

And once again, your favourite most high and honourable majesty is back. Given the long sabatical one has taken, it would almost seem as if this was going to close down. What with google trying to take over blogspot(actually, they already have) and in the process making your's truly have to get a new account, the ordinary man on the street might actually think that google was using blogspot to try to tap on his royal majesty's true splendor.

Easter has gone by so quickly, so has the rest of the academic year....amazing how fast time moves. However, one of the few things remaining in constant is your royal highness' glory and splendor, not to mention amazingly intellectual chat. He was awarded the intellectual cunt award from the very prestiguous and aptly named YPP cunt awards 2007. FACT

To end off, your's truly just wants to remind all to continue reading one's posts(go brush up on your history of Poameister's amazing posts). He's bringing SEXY BACK.



Friday, January 05, 2007

Homecoming

Roughly 3/4 of the holidays have passed. Needless to say, your's truly is obviously busier in the holidays as compared to term time. Such are the pitfalls of being such marvellous company that everyone wants a little bit of that limited entity which is I.

Am in a thoroughly good mood today as a particularly generous aunt has pledged a sizable amount for this charity group that I am helping. Pleasantly surprised for sure as your's truly was expecting 0 replies, since it was only an email sent out. Now be honest people, how many of you would actually open an email with the word 'donation' spelled out clearly in the title. Obviously, for a person as pristinely respected such as oneself, one would be quite certain that everyone would read it, and then comment as well as affirm the high standing that your's truly is placed within your esteem. And then go 'well, I'm sure someone else will donate and so I'll give this a pass.'

Another interesting fact this month is the way your's truly has been used as a weapon of mass destruction. Ha, and from this, one is not merely refering to one's exceedingly large instrument. But rather, being used as an emotional weapon to be unleashed on undeserving creatures. It is amusing to say the least. Needless to say, this thus affirms oneself as a true embodiment of a superior species.

Furthermore, your's truly went for carolling as well, thus dispelling swiftly with one movement, the notion that choirboys are wussys/homos/sistas/batty boys. Truly revolutionising the entire meaning of being in a choir. FACT, your's truly was given the task of delivering a monologue, one in which was obviously dispatched with the utmost authority. Lucky for my brother, who does have abit of his excellency's genetic code, he did do a commendable job of delivering the monologue in chinese. Obviously, nothing can go wrong when you are that closely related to your's truly.


Once again, this is your's truly, signing off.



Saturday, November 11, 2006

Empire where the sun never sets

A big hello to all you fans out there. In fact, make that a big SHOUT OUT to you all, all the way from the centre of the empire where the sun never sets....pfft, how the mighty have fallen, not that they would in anyway admit it, just like how them rafflesian girls burn their bras in secret(insider joke). Raffles by the way for those who are un-initiated is the name of the top school in Singapore in terms of mass producing an army of A-class students. 'What ?!! Only 3As for your A-levels ?! Pathetic..' The school if they could would probably shoot these infidels.

His most exalted highness is indeed having quite a M.I.N.T of a time 'oop north' in the cold and gloomy city of durham. Anyway, here are some interesting snippets of what your's truly has been up to.

Snippet 1:Tales of the Ladyboy Man-Eater

As part of the worst nightmare halloween party, your's truly decided to transcend boundaries into unchartered territory. Imagine, having to awake in the morning beside a ladyboy beside you, or worse, awaking to something long thick and damp(**in the interest of accuracy, for your's truly is trying to get in tune for the role ) being slapped across your face.

To put it succinctly, your's truly was HOT, FIT and well, words couldn't be used to describe the beauty that was on offer. In fact, it probably could rival some of the finest Thailand has to offer. FACT, some sleazebag, actually tried to touch up your's truly from behind. Not a nice feeling, but one that your's truly is accustomed to, except that this was coming from a guy instead of the hordes of females that are after your's truly's nice little pert ass.

Snippet 2: Tradition

Well, exactly what can be expected of the posh sophisticated and nose slightly tilted upwards Brits, but traditons upon traditions. Not that your's truly minds of course. Being able to put on a suit and looking suave is all part of what being your's truly entails. Formals, Balls and whatever swanky events you can think up of, they have it all. Freed from the shackles of sloppy dressing and the notion of dressing down, your's truly is thriving in this new environment.

Snippet 3: Helping the less fortunate

As all of my loyal subjects, you should know that your's truly is a man of compassion and integrity. Always helping the less fortunate and being such an example to mankind is something which comes as second nature. Your's truly had to go through a really tough interview in order to be able to volunteer his most amazing services. Think of it, here the people actually have to queue up to do volunteer work....in Singapore, we try ways and means of paying off other people to do it for us. Or we have attitudes such as if you're not good enough, 'life will kick you between the legs,' amazing quote by Wee Shu Min(elitist bra-burning extraordinaire). To cut things short, your's truly aced the interview and according to one of the panel, almost had them in tears. Thank you 1t1 and 1n1 scums, your's truly would never have envisaged that teaching you would actually benefit your's truly in such tangible ways.

This is the Poameister, signing off.



Monday, October 23, 2006

Geeks

Geeks don't sleep around. Geeks, through their higher IQ and therefore greater understanding of the tragedy of human condition, know that the grass only seems greener on the other side of the fence. Hence, they instinctively stay loyal to their lovers through thick and thin. Their social skills are also not well developed enough to support an affair, and frankly, geeks generally aren't quite sure how they ended up with the lover they have attracted. When you date a geek, you know the geek will be yours until you are done.

Geeks are good at the things they try. When's the last time you met a geek who didn't have some secret skill just simmering below the surface of their lives, honed in the wee hours of the night? It could be hacking, playing video games, or the ability to insert and remove those stupid computer power plug things from drives without cursing or breaking a finger. Let sex become their new favorite late-night hobby, and you know that a geek won't quit until he or she has learned how to hack into your brainstem through specific genitalia interfacing in parallel with general dermal and oral bonding.

Geeks are not interested in status. Geeks became geeks because they chose to spend their time doing things that would not necessarily make them popular with everyone else in school, like sports and fashion. The ability to resist peer pressure is important to a geek. This means that a geek is more interested in their or your happiness than looking good to others, which is an important trait in a relationship.Geeks haven't formed bad habits.

After years of dating other women, many socially successful guys have become too confident to be intimate, think of women only for sex, and don't have any intention of letting what in their minds is "just another girlfriend" enjoy the last spring roll. Let us not even pry into the diabolical, dark, twisted, and depraved mind of the girl who has dated many men. None of this is true of the geek, however. The lack of past romantic partners allows the geek to approach lovers with the zest of the neophyte. Geeks are not full of romantic confidence; however, once coaxed from their emotional holes like tame bunnies, they are eager to please and enjoy their newfound relationship.

Geeks can concentrate. Geeks can focus their energy on one task with the intensity of a hunting cheetah. Granted, the task they are focussing on may have more to do with hunting orcs with 12-sided dice rather than hunting gazelles with claws, but the fact remains that a geek, once set upon a task and given Mountain Dew, becomes a tireless slave to their goal. Put a six-pack of Dew on the bedside table and a geek between the sheets, and you have found yourself one relentless lover.

Geeks have excellent finger dexterity. Geeks roll dice. Geeks play video games. Geeks flip pages in books. Geeks type a lot, and use characters like ~ and ^ and that no one else has any use for. Geeks use calculators and personal digital assistants. The sum total of this is that a geek knows how to use his or her fingers to greatest possible effect. Whether you have a button that needs pushing or a joystick that needs joy, a geek is the person for the job.

Geeks have imagination Once you have found your amazing lover, you wouldn't want things to become boring. That is where geeks prove their worth. Replayability is important to the value-conscious video-game playing geek, and this translates to relationships as well. Wouldn't you want to date someone who has created a Quake 3 mod? Wouldn't you want to date someone who has written steamy Everquest fan fiction involving elven incest? Wouldn't you want to date someone who wished they were Morpheus rather than someone who wished they were Barry Bonds?There are plenty of other reasons why geeks are the best lovers around, but don't just take my word for it. Find the nearest sexy geek and coax that person into asking you out, even if you have to do so using instant messanger.

I am a geek.

His majesty signing off.



Thursday, October 12, 2006

Hangover

One has never ever thought that it would be possible to be hungover on the amount of parties one can have. To be honest, your's truly is quite sick of hanging out till late everynight. The initial euphoria has mostly been turned into a form of cynicism.



Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Finally !

Finally, seventeen magazine has decided to put an article about your's truly. Everyone should now buy a copy, as well as write in to seventeen to praise your's truly for his immaculate wit and request for more of yours truly !



Thursday, September 21, 2006

Tea and Scones

Weather:14-21
Days: 15

It comes as a great relief for your's truly that durham is not actually situated in the middle of nowhere with only cows for company. Havent seen even one cow as of yet. Being in campus so early means 2 things:

1) An opportunity to make life better for your's truly once term starts since now he's got quite the comparative advantage. Also, to rectify any problems which might occur and not be fixed if his majesty actually came as per scheduled.

• bank account(check)
• ensuite room(half-check)
• how to get around the area(double check)

2) To get to know more people. Judging by the fact that asians are generally less popular and have less friends abroad, no doubt due to the conservative environment we've been brought up by, means tt your's truly(the only singaporean fresher), has to start making friends earlier. Everyone seems really friendly and surprise surprise, your's truly when compared to these people is quiet and with a halo around my head to boot. But, it is quite boring, especially since no freshers have yet to arrive and well, it is quite difficult to get on the same wavelength as them seniors.

Interesting fact:

The room the your's truly is going to be sleeping in had someone die there of a heart attack earlier in the summer. Hence it was not allocated out, as the college waited to see if anyone would step forward to take it. Now, your's truly had been praying for a ensuite room prior to the meeting to ask to be transfered to one. On knowing that there was an avaliability, your's truly's faith was tested yet again. The question beckoned as to whether or not to take the room. The answer was, after some pondering, yes(not a very big one..) as God had provided a room as per requested and all that required was for your's truly to accept that God would protect him. And hence, your's truly will be moving in in a couple of hours, albeit with the chaplain coming over to help cleanse the room...(i am obviously not tt brave yet). Well then, its all off to an exciting start !

Stay tuned people.