Sunday, January 29, 2006

Rebirth: Freed

Finally, truly freed from the shackles which were once bound so tightly. The same one which forced him far and away from his abode, his land, his compadres, and above all, his roots. Uprooted, he struggled to find a place. Difficult, for everyone guarded their spaces so ever tightly....

A stranger to a new land is not always taken kindly to. Suspicion and doubt clouds his every movement. Was running away the best solution? Nonetheless, its was a decision which could not be revoked upon. Turning back now would prove pointless. Branded as a traitor, acceptance would never be granted. Even if it was, scars would still remain.

Despair, anguish, pain which could not be seen from the outside flooded and coursed through his entire self. The intensity of which was so hot that even tears could not be coaxed out of the dry well. Meandering aimlessly through the desert. Alone.

A secret only he and he alone could carry. The burden so great that at times he almost buckled under its huge weight. It would not be fair to share this with anyone. It is something that he would guard till the end of time....even if it was burning and searing through him from the inside.

Slowly, he was accepted by the new community. Ties with the past were now severed almost completely....the only footpath back being you. He was now broken into a sad melancholic creature albeit still with a wicked sense of humour. The only thing which remained of the past.

' Such sad and tired eyes you have,' the others commented. The only window to the torment which lay beneath. 'You smile stranger, but your eyes look so dead.' The light was snuffed out the day he tore himself away.

I ask you, what use is a king with everything, but not a person to share it with. Yes, he snatched the throne, slayed the dragons, got all the treasure he desired for. But to what end ? At the end, to find that you had left. The castle being devoid of all the spirit and life that you once brought it. Had he known this would happen then, he would have rather become a peasant and continue to rear chickens and plant vegetables with you. But ambition consumed him and all he wanted was fame and glory.

You were the only one who could make his heart stop. His tongue go mute. His eyes light up. And yet, you took his silence for the lack of chemistry, his fawning eyes as pointless. I guess then, it should already have been clear that it was over. And yet he chose to wave it off, cast it aside as if nothing had ever happened. Some things once gone can never be replaced. That much ought to have been clear to him of all people. This was something doomed to failure from the start. Especially with one as proud as him.The fact that you once chose to give him up for another could never and would never be forgotten. Especially to a specimen as inferior as that. The assurances you gave him before you left with 'it' were taken as lies, much as he would have liked to believe afterwards. He tried to forget, but it wouldn't go away. Not Then, Not Now, Not Ever.

Time really has numbed down the pain. While not being wholely integrated by the new communities that he had join in, he was accepted. Thats good.

One day, by a chance conversation, he found out that she was going to a land far far away for perhaps a long time, perhaps even forever. If he was to be assured that he was truly freed from the past, he would have to face up to this bane of his.(if you ever come across this and recognise yourself, yours truly would certainly have you know that in no way can u be described as a bane in any sense of the word. Its a personal thing.)

And so we met.

Time has really changed us all. Yesteryear barely seems like yesterday. Yet the one difference lies in the fact that he is no longer tied to the bonds of yesteryear. Relief coursed through his veins. Finally. A closure. I never thought that this day would come, nor did I imagine it.

Nonetheless, if I had to relive my life again, I would still make the same choices. I have found strength within me that I never thought was there. Exposure to a different world. Meeting people which I would never have otherwise met.

The memories will always remain with me, for it reminds me that the most precious things that we hold, are often the most fragile ones. Adios my old friend, may you always stay happy. (Or at least, as happy as you ever can be, no one can be always happy, unless you're on drugs, even then, induced happiness can't really be counted can it.)

Quote of the day: 'The most precious things that we hold are often the most fragile ones.'

By who else other than his most royalest highness, the Poameister. *grin*