Thursday, May 26, 2005

Retrospective: God

He might not be there times when I want him to, but he's always there when I need him.
Always taking, seldom giving.......

Yes, that sums up my spiritual life. Have always been in a christian school(a work of God I think), though not always a christian......Many people till now do not even believe me when I tell them I am a christian, yah, must admit that yours truly isn't what one may call a martyr, well I try.......actually......NOT. heh. Even better is the flabbergasted looks they shoot me and their words and actions of disbelief when they find out that I'm a sunday school teacher. =)

The first real incident of God being in my life was when my favourite grandma(maternal side) got into a coma. Doctors gave her almost no chance of recovery......I remember I went into the hospital into the ICU unit one day alone and just sat there.......I prayed that if she would just wake up, I would start going to church.....wake up she did a few days later and thus I tried keeping my part of the bargain by going to church to try to know Him more....not v successful, soon I stopped going to church, always giving myself excuses to skip it.....you know, the typical backslidey kinda person.

Everything in my life was kinda smooth-sailing until I entered the army and got posted to the God-forsaken Sispec(School of Infantry Specialists). The days there were just terrible, faced with inferior instuctors and the horrid notions that for once, I wasn't good enough for the so called upper echelons(OCS). Yes, the instructors there(Foxtrot) are terribly lousy at whatever they do, be it planning to actually teaching anything. Being punished and blamed for everything, including faults of the instuctors.....I really asked God why the hell was I there. In fact I was on the brink of giving up and getting myself downgraded if I wasn't getting a favourable posting(either going to OCS or being a PTI) after the initial stages of training. Luckily, God was there when I needed him and I was posted to become a PTI. Imagine the joy I felt to be leaving the cesspool! It was here that I finally realised that the relationship I had with God all along was one-sided. Finally, ended up at where I am now at OCS where I am a PTI. Really nice and comfy life even if I do say so myself. It was here that I decided to give back some of what I had taken and u know, spread the love. So that's how I'm a Sunday School teacher. Still am going for a mission trip ! ;P